I’ve been here too long. I should have escaped by now. It seems my fate to reside in this hell forever as it evolves new instruments of torture for me.
The newest instrument in their arsenal is a R.E.M sleep unit that stimulates the reptilian brain to promote combat based dreams. My time is theirs now even in sleep. Before I would only sleep for an hour or two a night. I had to wait for the pack to fall asleep for definite or risk waking up with my head dipped in a bucket of freezing water. Now we are escorted at gunpoint to the new stimulus units and I have to learn to operate at two levels of consciousness. Ignoring the stimulation of the reptilian brain can cause a reckless rise in aggression. I have to indulge the new program whilst remaining aware of the threat of murderous wolves.
So much worse than my new nightly routine is the play the generals made in the game that is my life. Someone made the suggestion that my physician Dr Athena Sirona switch places with Dr Carl Wirths, personal physician to Ichiro. Ichiro leads the pack against me. Athena has new bruises daily when I see her now. I can see how much she hates my natural reaction. Rage at her injuries combined with increased aggression caused by under indulging the reptilian brain during sleep means I’ve been letting lose on her new patient more and more. It’s just giving the generals what they want of course but I can’t help it, worse. I don’t want to.
Dr Sirona is the tool they used to make me what they wanted. I can’t stand it but I wont stop either. Athena is the only woman I’ve ever known. She’s also the only person I’ve ever liked. I can see her when I’m fighting Ichiro. She stands at the observation deck above the small arena. She’s supposed to be observing his progress but I always know she’s watching me. I know she’s wishing I wont do what they want, that I wont beat the crap out of Ichiro. I wish I could indulge her but the rage wont stand for it. He has to pay.
The physicians were assigned individuals for a reason. Dr Wirths viewed Ichiro as the best of us. He hated me for taking his pet project away from him. Whenever I’m hurt it’s his job to piece me back together. He does what he’s paid for but nothing more. He never uses painkiller when treating a wound. He doesn’t need to cut me open as often as he does, he just enjoys it.
Right now my chances of escape look as low as they ever have. Just surviving is taking everything out of me. I dominate the pack during the day. I have a talent for violence which apparently exceeds theirs but they have become nocturnal. They wait until the guards have gone and drag me from the R.E.M unit. They are far better at fighting off the sedative effects of the device. At least when I’m drowsy I feel less pain.
If I’m not ready for them I’m woken by the pain of them lifting me by my bound arms and legs before they throw me in the pool. The guards always manage to fish me out in time, I can hold my breath for a long time. It’s still horrific. When I drift back to sleep I’m drowning again. Fighting shadows in the water. There is no escape.
It seems that as a chess piece I am in check mate. The generals have only to make the last move to seal my fate. Only a miraculous blunder on their part could save me from this life. I will wait for it but I am no hopeful. I survive, nothing more.
Progress assessment no. 0184: General Kuraimizu
My suggestions were implemented by the board who have praised me for my insight. Dr Sirona was assigned to Ichiro who’s own physician Dr Wirth took her place. The swap had the desired effect of intensifying the hatred between the two rivals and secured a hostile response from Hachiro. In single combat Hachiro finally displayed the potential I’d long seen in him and beat Ichiro to a pulp. Ichiro’s response was to take his anger out on Dr Sirona which only compounded Hachiro’s response. Hachiro has long harboured the desire to escape this facility. He will not have the time now to ponder escape or to lay a path towards such endeavours.