Blog 37: Daily Renewal

Reincarnation proposes that if something dies some essence of it will be reborn in a new form. Perhaps as a metaphor for adaptation this begins life’s search for a suitable and sustainable vessel. Of all life the trees are longest lived. In them carnation seems successful more than elsewhere.
Life is the struggle against the endless death in the universe and rebirth the last hope against its reign. The great changes come often for me, life has not found my true form. Immortality is the truth of life I was once told. Death is the lie propagated to our misfortune. To realise the truth and believe in it completely is to transcend the trap of the lie.
Each day now I fall for the lie and watch the world shrivel before me to be reborn anew. I remain unharmed as the world fades to nothing as is reassembled in the dark of space. My belief in the supposed truth fades each time and I’m left with less time before to look for my place. Without that place I as the keystone cannot hold the world together preventing its daily reformation. I don’t always try, it’s harder and harder to find the motivation I need. I will find my habitat at some point and the world will live on eternally even without me. This is the aim of my life when I can summon the effort, to put an end to the cycle of destruction and restoration for the sake of peace. I want to rest for more than a day in one place to enjoy the beauties of a world. I’ve seen more than I can remember now.
Resting on one plane to see a sunset is so peaceful. I fool myself that it might remain so forever or at least return cyclically as it should without dying to return in a new form. The light looks different each time, subtly so, as it shines through a different concoction of gasses to the surface. The air is far from the only difference, the many suns I have seen burn with varying intensity. The surface I walk on may be earth or sand and even glass if the planet is swallowed by the sun before it dies. I want to linger longer here or there, anywhere in just one place. I am sick, so sick of the endless changes. I long for the true earth that will live on day after day amongst the stars and I hope I am believed when I say I know that this day is not the last for this world, life has found its home here. This is truth.