People have many vast, complicated theories that connect various mistakes of those in any seat of power to a vast web of lies. Know thyself. Are we that organised? Do you know, truly, where you’re going with your life? I don’t, probably never will. We can all convince ourselves afterwards that everything was entirely preconceived and intentional, that each of our actions are carefully planned and with full attention to detail come to pass exactly as we expected. Is there any greater lie? Life is chaos. To claim any measure of control over the endless streams of influence that tug at us is delusional at best. We are all reactive more than contemplative. We live from one day to the next and the more we plan and prepare ourselves the more the present slips away from us.
There are no conspiracies, just people fucking up and covering their arses. Why face the consequences of any action that can be hidden. That’s all it takes from those in power, a few words to clean it all up so their heads don’t roll. One hand washes the other in desperation as the judges look at palms absent of the stains that should tattoo them. How often have you told a lie, however little, just to avoid facing a consequence. It is human nature, a survival instinct. Lies are everywhere in nature. Herbivores wear the robes of poisonous predators to supplement their weakness. Fragility is another goal we tell ourselves we’re aiming for as we walk in another direction. We’re not born to die, not built to go out quietly. It is instinctive to conceal our failings. It’s just part of being human. There’s nothing so dishonest as claiming intention after the fact and nothing so blind as seeing it in wolves trying to tell themselves they’re sheep.
Saturday, 14 January 2012
Friday, 13 January 2012
Blog 48: Cellular Existance
My existence is the definition of solitude. I am eternal, the only exception the void. Far from endless my borders in this universe are finite. I must wait, there is nothing else to do. Death cannot excuse me from this. I am maintained by engines that feed from energy streaming between the universes. No food, no water and only a trace of the faint light my bonds exude. There’s nothing here to see anyway.
After so long here I’m forgetting what things look like. The universes I left behind are twisting and fading. This is the cell of my sentence for crimes against my species. Personally I’d call it a misunderstanding. Entire special civilisations have reached omega level intellectual and technological level while a human being was procrastinating over a choice of sugared snacks in a market. It takes the piss out of life itself that so many were wasting it thinking that the most they could want in life is a gold plated fart machine. We wasted millennia on trivialities before our chance to evolve of our own volition was snatched from us by the overly charitable aliens. All I did was give humanity a kick up the arse and some ambition. I wanted them to need to learn as they felt the need to eat, drink and breathe. I was for a short while proud of my species for the first time, right up until they got to the point they asked for help to restore themselves. No pride.
Never mind, I set up fail safes in case of my detention. I will be freed upon fruition of my designs, having done enough to be deemed worthy of this punishment I can certainly be sure of my eventual escape.
The connections between the universes were fragile, they taught us that for which I’m thankful because it allowed me to sever the ties. Alone my race were easy to manipulate. I brought together all of the components needed to reset our hand me down technology so we could stand on our own feet. I created a virus that swept through the species more easily because it remains dormant until a native population is entirely saturated. Designed to evolve faster than treatments it created an addiction to the flush of chemicals released when new knowledge is acquired. It triggers sadness when nothing is learned, withdrawal triggers remorse. Perfect.
They all hated me but that was fine. Their hatred combined with the intentional genetic need to learn prompted a surge of intellectual evolution unparalleled during the course of human history. They could not stand the toll of progress. Idle fools felt the loss of more than they ever had, it drove them crazy. Not long after developing the capability my species reverted to type and undid my gift to them. I gave them the drive to become better and they cast it aside. They are back to ridding the coat tails of ambitious species who helped them put me here.
With stolen technology I will be set free from this sparse existence or continue here forever losing my mind. From where I am even if the rescue is certain it might turn up soon or endless ages from now, time is a gamble beyond my control. I must wait.
After so long here I’m forgetting what things look like. The universes I left behind are twisting and fading. This is the cell of my sentence for crimes against my species. Personally I’d call it a misunderstanding. Entire special civilisations have reached omega level intellectual and technological level while a human being was procrastinating over a choice of sugared snacks in a market. It takes the piss out of life itself that so many were wasting it thinking that the most they could want in life is a gold plated fart machine. We wasted millennia on trivialities before our chance to evolve of our own volition was snatched from us by the overly charitable aliens. All I did was give humanity a kick up the arse and some ambition. I wanted them to need to learn as they felt the need to eat, drink and breathe. I was for a short while proud of my species for the first time, right up until they got to the point they asked for help to restore themselves. No pride.
Never mind, I set up fail safes in case of my detention. I will be freed upon fruition of my designs, having done enough to be deemed worthy of this punishment I can certainly be sure of my eventual escape.
The connections between the universes were fragile, they taught us that for which I’m thankful because it allowed me to sever the ties. Alone my race were easy to manipulate. I brought together all of the components needed to reset our hand me down technology so we could stand on our own feet. I created a virus that swept through the species more easily because it remains dormant until a native population is entirely saturated. Designed to evolve faster than treatments it created an addiction to the flush of chemicals released when new knowledge is acquired. It triggers sadness when nothing is learned, withdrawal triggers remorse. Perfect.
They all hated me but that was fine. Their hatred combined with the intentional genetic need to learn prompted a surge of intellectual evolution unparalleled during the course of human history. They could not stand the toll of progress. Idle fools felt the loss of more than they ever had, it drove them crazy. Not long after developing the capability my species reverted to type and undid my gift to them. I gave them the drive to become better and they cast it aside. They are back to ridding the coat tails of ambitious species who helped them put me here.
With stolen technology I will be set free from this sparse existence or continue here forever losing my mind. From where I am even if the rescue is certain it might turn up soon or endless ages from now, time is a gamble beyond my control. I must wait.
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Blog 47: Tagged
He wanders in wounded and expects me to help him just because it’s my job. I know what he is, he knows I know. I don’t care. The tag says he has eighty four years left of a hundred year sentence for sex crimes. If he lasts out the sentence they’ll remove the tag. He might not survive that long. I don’t care. He wants pain relief for the wounds received when people see what he is. Some people think the old way is better, let him live in free accommodation eating catered food while the rest of us pay our way. Not me, he should make a living and as best he can amends for his crimes. If you can survive a long sentence with that tag then I’d say you’ve earned your freedom. People will still know but they’ll also know what you’ve been through. I had a tag once for shoplifting, two years. I couldn’t get in anywhere and even my family looked at me with distrust. It worked I’d say, I’ll never steal again.
He wants the anti-septic that hurts less. He can see it on the shelf behind me but I tell him we’re all out and hand him the other bottle. The ointment stings infinitely more than the cream despite being more effective, I play up how well it works. I hope he winces every time he applies it.
A woman comes to the door and sees him, she slows and hovers. I tell her to come in as he hands me the money and leaves. The glowing tag fades when he’s a couple of meters out of the door. The woman starts talking about all of the tags walking about. It’s quite common I guess but most of them are temporary. I let the shoplifters in here, they know I’m watching them. The violent crime tags scare me the most. I can see a vandalism tag glowing faintly through the wall round back. I ask the woman to pay quickly so I can check that there’s not some kid painting his name over my garden wall.
I turns out my cousin has his own tag now for kicking a car when he was drunk. He’s just smoking.
He wants the anti-septic that hurts less. He can see it on the shelf behind me but I tell him we’re all out and hand him the other bottle. The ointment stings infinitely more than the cream despite being more effective, I play up how well it works. I hope he winces every time he applies it.
A woman comes to the door and sees him, she slows and hovers. I tell her to come in as he hands me the money and leaves. The glowing tag fades when he’s a couple of meters out of the door. The woman starts talking about all of the tags walking about. It’s quite common I guess but most of them are temporary. I let the shoplifters in here, they know I’m watching them. The violent crime tags scare me the most. I can see a vandalism tag glowing faintly through the wall round back. I ask the woman to pay quickly so I can check that there’s not some kid painting his name over my garden wall.
I turns out my cousin has his own tag now for kicking a car when he was drunk. He’s just smoking.
Blog 46: Leaping Forwards
I’m taking a leap today. From the cliffs that have been the boundary of my world. I’m happy with this life but I have to keep moving forward. There is more for me than I have within my current boundaries. I had grown used to life here, simple. Change can be feared but not fought, time moves ever onward. If I fail to seize opportunities before me I will look back with regret. We regret what we did always less than what didn’t. If we fail after trying then we did not fail to try which is twice the mistake. Look to each new day as an opportunity to be grasped with both hands and each day you will welcome bold new possibilities and a better life. I’ve been looking too long for excuses to stay where I am because it suits me but everything changes and if I do not move with the times the pillow of contentment will be pulled from beneath me.
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